Dan Faggella

Know Thyself

Know Thyself by Dan Faggella

The Conundrum and Proposition:

How is it that we come to understand what brings us the most joy?

What is the best way to compose a life that we will find fulfilling?

Certainly no short-winded answers can be given to such questions – but in this relatively small article, I want to bring to the foreground the importance of understanding our own values and needs in constructing an ideally enjoyable life.

The Example:

Allow me to begin with an example:

Lets say you are looking for a trainer to help you with your fitness goal of improving cardiovascular endurance and vitality. You approach a trainer and ask them about how they can boost your progress and enhance your workouts. Here are two separate examples of a possible response from the trainer.

1. “We have people with similar goals in here all the time. We’ll have them work out on the machines and do some work on the bands, free weights, but mostly over here on our state-of-the-art cardio equipment. Working with motivated people like you is always a pleasure and I’d be happy to help.”

2. “With your specific goals, we’d be gearing a program more towards continuous, full-body dynamic exercise. The bikes and treadmills are great, but for the kind of function fitness you’re looking for, we’d experiment with a variety of exercises. Some might be calisthenic, some might be at the cable column, and some involving free weights – but this would be based off of your preferences and what your mind and body seem to align best with. Working with motivated people like you is always a pleasure and I’d be happy to help.”

Which response would you rather hear?

Anyone looking for results would probably choose the second response.

The first response is nice and short, but it conveys very little depth and understanding. Lets assume that after asking details about what kind of program you’d actually be getting into, you weren’t able to get much more out of the trainer. Lets assume that when you asked why you would be doing the exercises he was recommending, his answers were brief and shallow.

That probably wouldn’t bode well for your fitness objectives – and if you knew of one, you’d probably look for a trainer who knew his science and profession to a greater extent.

Reflection:

So lets bring some ideas home here.

Lets say one of yours friends is getting a coffee with you and he asks you what it is that you enjoy in your life and what it is that fulfills you.

If your answer to that question is “Uuuum… I don’t know. I like golf and hanging out with friends I guess…” then you might realize that you aren’t very proficient when it comes to the components of your personal fulfillment.

If you have no understanding of what it is that fulfills you, of what specific aspects of certain activities bring about the most enjoyment – how can you hope to align your life with what genuinely brings about happiness for you?

You would never trust a fitness professional to have control over your physical regimen unless you knew that he understood the dynamics of fitness, unless he knew what makes the body ‘tick’ and could clearly explain and apply these skills.

So why would you trust yourself to run your life without a clear understanding of what makes it the best life for YOU?

We aren’t talking about the path you take towards fitness at this point – we’re talking about living a life that is either aligned with your own ideas for happiness or not – we’re talking about your quality of life over a lifetime!

Is there anything more important experientially?

Applications:

Listing out every possible way to apply this broad idea would be ridiculous, but here in this short example we can go over some basic ideas.

First, aim to bring more depth into your understanding of what it is you enjoy. Whittle down your ideas about what it is you enjoy.

Do you enjoy sports? What sports, and why?

Maybe you enjoy table tennis and basketball because they have a fast and exciting pace, or maybe you like golf because of the coordination and focus involved, and honing those aspects of yourself is something you find enjoyable. Maybe you love wrestling because of the intricate applications of body mechanics and the grace of proper technique in action.

Maybe it isn’t that the sport itself that fulfills a unique need or desire for you, maybe you have associations to that sport that relate to things you values for themselves. For instance, you might associate golf with luxury and ease, or you might associate baseball with friendship because you grew up playing with all your best friends.

If you understand that you like to challenge your focus in golf, then you have found more depth than just “golf” in what you enjoy. You can now take this understanding and challenge your focus in other areas as well – such as scholastic endeavors or at work.

When you understand WHY it is that you value the activities / relationships / situations in your life, you can apply those “whys” to new aspects of your life.

For instance, you might realize that something you love about weight lifting is the fact that you can monitor your progress over time. You might then begin doing so in other areas as well! (You might monitor how many sales you close a month, or the quality of the experiences you have with a loved one, etc…).

In Conclusion:

Only you are responsible for your own fulfillment, and only you create it. Understand that there are needs, desires, values, and associations within you – some of which are unique to you – many of which are shared by arguably all of humanity.

If you don’t understand what composes the best life for you – if you don’t make a conscious effort to know what fulfills you and why – you cannot adequately live in the pursuit of your priorities, in the pursuit of your potential, or in the pursuit of happiness.

About Dan Faggella

Dan Faggella spends his life cultivating the practice and understanding of fulfillment and human potential. He currently runs a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu academy and writes his blog at www.lifeexp.wordpress.com.

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